Ok... God is so awesome! Two things this week that just opened my eyes wider to how His hand is in everything.
So I was bummed that this good employee was leaving work. He does a lot of different tasks at the office and it was going to be difficult to get someone in open to do them. Well... praise God we found a guy. He is GREAT!! On top of everything else... he is a Christian! Not sure where he is in his walk, but got some of it while we were peeling decals before lunch. I knew in the interview process that he was different from the other people coming in... in a good way. I had a good vibe about him. He is young (like everyone in the offie) at 22, but he drives a 72 Chevelle... how cool is that!
More office news but one of the girl's at the office, her grandmother passed away today. THat is not the praise God moment... or is it? Last night at Bible Study we watched a Nooma video on death and grief. One suggestion the speaker had was that when someone expereinces loss... just sit with them being quiet until they want to share. It is taken from the Jewish tradition of Shiveh. I was able to sit with this girl after she heard the news. She finally began to share memories. How her grandmother would let her watch tv when her dad told them not to. How there would always be fruit cut up on the table for her when she came to visit. She told me about yesterday, the last time she saw her grandmother. Her grandmother had been floating in and our of sleep for a while. But yesterday her grandmother recognized her... reached for her hand, and said good-bye. What a precious memory for this co-worker to have! Something else brought up on the video, that I also was able to communicate with her... was it was ok to feel however she was feeling. People respond to loss in different ways. This is the first time she has lost someone close to her. I wanted her to know... it is ok to cry (she is normally very tough) or it is ok to be sad, it is ok to morn, it is ok to be numb, it is ok to be whatever. It was brought up in the video that when people are not allowed or repress grieving... it can effect them greatly. An example Rob Bell (from the Nooma studies) gave was that when someone experiences loss, their whole life can get centered around what they don't have... and they can forget what they do have. It hit me why so many people are the way they are... including myself. Have I not completely grieved for a loss? There are some deep concepts in here, but that is enough for now.
posted by TiNA @ 5:51 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Tina - My daughter is maturing in so many ways. Helping someone in times of grief is so important in our Christian walk. The most tempting thing to do is to "talk", when we need to listen. We seem to want to tell them about "our" loss that was similar, while we think that will help. But they do not need to hear that, as it only doubles the hurt. I read once that they need to cry and cry until there are no more tears.
At the young age of 56 I have never lost an immediate family member. As the "father", I feel like I will need to help my other family members. When your mother lost her mother and step-father 19 days apart, she was so drained. Your mother was like a wet rung out wash rag. I almost had to take some action that I would have regretted. But God stepped in at just the right time.
I saw a lot of death growing up. The first time I held a deaad person in my arms, I was 14. And then had the Viet Nam experience with the most killed in one day being 28. To survive mentally I developed an ability to deny death. This means to survive still seems to linger in me. Perhaps you have noticed?
When your grandmother and grandfather were in the same hall of the ICU unit, literally on their death beds, the nurses gave your mother a small and brief book titled "Good Grief". It was a great read for me. It gave me a perspective I had never considered.
I find that when a friend of mine experiences a death in their family, I try to immediately drop what I am doing and go to them, be with them, place my arm over their shoulder, hug them and just listen. They may not make sense. They may say things that are hurtful. They may say anything. I leave my memory (internal tape recorder) off and truly forget the cutting comments they might make. But the comments about their emptiness, I will record in my memory word for word.
We all react differently. We are all unique. So if you want to reach out as a Christain, prepare for a deep, deep dose of humble pie and a long drink from the well of Life.
Thanks for being my daughter!
Love
Dad
Tina,
Watching you step out in faith to get your classy new digs with Janine and watching you co-lead your group (yes, all the way to Africa) and watching you work so hard for your new car impresses me to no end: it is time, grasshopper.
I'm wondering what your next step of faith (ie, RISK) will be. God has blessed all of them so far...
Grieve the loss of your childhood, embrace the godly woman you've become.
Love,
Danielle
Post a Comment
<< Home